#where a side effect of being revived is that u can die

[fellow-fandom-fruitifier]

From this:

[unofficialkfamtranscripts]

King Falls AM - Episode Six: King of King Falls

View on Google Docs

Summary: July 15, 2015 - In an effort to learn more about his new hometown, Sammy books an interview with author and King Falls historian, Howard Ford Beauregard III, however Ben questions Sammy's intentions as well as Beauregard's facts.

[Podcast intro music]

[jazzy church organ music]

Deacon Reggie Back by popula’ deman’ from tha Lawd On High, tha King Falls Stompin’ Out Tha Devil Revival will be extended two extra Sundays. Join us for a fi’th consecutive week as Reverend Xavier “Get Right With God!” Hawthorne leads the King Falls faithful, the most turnt up celebration of tha year! Come raise your haaands to the skyy an’ annoint the son o’ God! Tha Holy Spirit will be so strong, your granny bound to get ratched!

Reverend Hawthorne God is’a Good. God is’a GreaT-a. Satan is on your back because he likes ta haTe-a. Shake ‘im off for Jesus! Just shake him off! Before it is too late! Glory, Glory Hallelujah!

Deacon Reggie Come celebrate with the most highly favored congregation in town! Just outside the city limits, off’a Route 72 and MLK. (That’s Mary-Lou Kilpatrick Drive for those coming out o’ town.) [rushed disclaimer] King Falls Stompin’ Out the Devil Revival is a trademark of Right With God Productions, all use and reproductions must have written consent from Reverend Hawthorne, or the Lord above. To God be the Glory.

[KFAM intro music]

Ben [in bg] I don’t want to do this!

Sammy And we’re back! You’re listening to King Falls AM, that’s 660 on the radio dial, and that was a perturbed Ben Arnold. We got a packed show for you this evening. We have a special guest, in the house—

Ben Sorry, folks!

Sammy What are you so fired up about, Ben?

Ben You know.

Sammy Well, our dear listeners don’t know, and we’ve got a few minutes before—

Ben B-before we talk to your guest.

Sammy Our guest.

Ben Oh, there’s no wa— I would never book that guy in a thousand years. He’s all yours.

Sammy [pleading] Ben.

Ben It’s just ridiculous! If you wanna make fun of me, do it off the air! This, is not cool.

Sammy I’m not making fun! Listen folks, I did a little research—

Ben On his own.

Sammy On my own, about King Falls history- and moreso, its history with the paranormal! So I go out of my way to book a guest that is an expert in this field!

Ben HOH! BULL!

Sammy And now Ben thinks I’m just messing with him when actually I’m just trying to get a better grasp on the supernatural phenomenon that happens in our beautiful town!

Ben [quickly] You never believe it when it happens on air, why would you bring- this guy in. You’re- you’re trying to break him. Which should be easy since he’s a—

Sammy I’m serious! I’m just trying to get a better understanding of what we’ve been dealing with the last few months, Ben. And this guy, our guest, has written a book about just that!

Ben It’s an e-book, Sammy. My mother can publish an e-book. He’s a whack job.

Sammy Why are you acting like he’s not sitting right in front of us?

Ben Oh, you’ll see.

Beauregard [HFB3 has a “High Class-Better Than You” drawl at all times] “Whack job”? You must be speaking of the 1957 3rd Street Massacre— or your journalistic career.

Sammy Uh, good evening sir. Thanks for making it down to the station tonight.

Beauregard [insincerely] Charmed.

Sammy Ladies and gentlemen, we’re being joined by- an author—

Ben [cutting in] E-book.

Sammy —and King Falls paranormal expert—

Ben Self-proclaimed.

Sammy —Mr. Howard Ford Beauregard.

Beauregard The third.

Sammy Of course. Howard Ford Beauregard the Third. How are you doing this evening, Howard?

Beauregard Mr. Beauregard. And as the common folk call it: I’m swell.

Ben *clears throat* So, Mr. Beauretar[sic]—

Beauregard Is your man speaking to me, Mr. Stevens?

Sammy [confused] No— Man?… Ben?

Beauregard You shan’t be too careful these days.

Sammy So, Mr. Beauregard. How did you come to be an expert in the paranormal and supernatural aspects of King Falls?

Ben [sounds like someone whose point is about to be proved] This should be good!

Beauregard As well you know, my family settled this town of King Falls many many moons ago, so its lineage is pure and unfiltered through my veins. My family has witnessed it all and, of course, that has been passed to me and now, through my memoir, passed down to you.

Ben *laughs* Right.

Beauregard May you ask your manservant to please hold his tongue as the adults speak?

Sammy Excuse me?

Ben Sorry! Beauregard. A-also, uh, in this century, where we live, I’m the co-host of this show.

Beauregard [condescendingly] How splendid. Your mother must be co-proud of you. Mm?

Sammy Okay. To make a U-turn back to the original point, you were saying—

Beauregard Yes. We founded this city. We know every minute detail of its hellish existence. Especially when it comes to the oft spoken about ghouls, goblins, and extraordinary happenings we are known for.

Ben [offended] King Falls is a magnificent town. There is nothing “hellish” about it.

Beauregard You’re. Welcome.

Sammy So, it is true that one could say you are a self-proclaimed expert in these matters.

Beauregard The same one might say that you are a good radio host, but… doubtful.

Ben *exasperated sigh*

Sammy Alright let’s take some callers, shall we?

Beauregard [insincerely] What fun. I love hearing from the lowlies.

Ben [muttered]Jesus— Line 3.

Sammy Good evening, you’re on King Falls AM with Howard Ford—

Ron Yeah yeah, Sammy, let me just get right down to business. First off, am I live right now?

Ben Double live gonzo, Ron!

Sammy Ron Begley, from Begley’s Bait Shop, ladies and gentlemen. What’s goin’ on, sir?

Ron Howdy boys. [angrily] But seriously this message right here is for you so-and-sos that have been comin’ down to the lake, every damn night since this tournament, lookin’ to poach on Kingsie.

Sammy Wait a second. People are attacking Kingsie?

Ron They’re tryin’.

Ben Why?

Ron I assume it’s a bunch of hillbilly heroes tryna come serve up a side of podunk justice on our majestic lake creature for the John Doe. However, it’s a damn fact now that Kingsie, who wouldn’t hurt a damn fly, had f[bleep]kall to do with that body at the Bass Tourney. But these damn perpetrators need to listen and stop comin’ on my land and into the lake with malice in mind. Lake Hatchenhaw is a place of serenity, peace and fishing, you damn fools.

Ben [fiercely] Kingsie is a King Falls treasure.

Beauregard If I believed in lake lizards living in a water puddle I call a lake—

Ron I’m sorry? Just who the f[bleep]k are you, you hoity-toity—

Beauregard Aww, the salty tongue of the smartest man in the trailer park. I do not answer to your kind.

Ron [aggressively] Son, I could get from my lake house to the top of that mountain in about 22 minutes, so you best get your gazelles on and start putting pads to pavement. You pillow bitin’ son of a b[bleep].

[click, dial tone]

Ben Kingsie is a fact, Mr. Beauregard, unlike a great deal of what you have listed in your… “book.”

Beauregard I’ll bite. What is fiction in my memoir?

Ben Sammy? Please. [“let me tear this guy apart”]

Sammy [conceding] We’re all about the facts here on King Falls AM, Ben.

Ben [rapid and eager] Chapter 2, “Smokey and the Banshee.” Hate to break it to you? but there certainly isn’t an apparition driving a “ghostly Trans-Am through town square” late night every third Sunday.

Beauregard Says you.

Sammy Says facts.

Ben Chapter 5, “Bombing Range Road Rage” you mentioned General Abilene here, saying he goes out of his way to spook people on old Bombing Range Road.

Beauregard Your point? If you have one.

Ben Indeed I do! Everyone, and I mean everyone, knows that the general is seen in Sweetzer Forest. Lights emanate from Bombing Range Road. Possible UFO activity. All of that unrelated to Abilene.

Beauregard [laughingly] Sweetzer Forest? Hah! Imbecile.

Ben [getting increasingly worked up again] And furthermore, what’s this baloney about there not being an ancient burial ground under where your family built its textile factory? And you know what? let’s just come out and say it: Why has no one in the town ever seen you in the daylight?

Beauregard We have gone on record! time and time again. There is not now nor has there… ever been an “ancient Indian burial ground.” There have been… no disturbances either. I will not tolerate any more of this tomfoolery. And furthermore! not that it’s any of your business, but as far as my complexion is concerned, I have… an aversion towards the sun! I tend to do my deals and business… in the night-time hours! You might even call me… nocturnal.

Sammy Riiight… Nocturnal. Okay. Moving forw—

Ben It’s a well known fact that your family bought that land at a steal. And it was so “reasonably priced”? because it was on the ancient burial ground of the Hatchenhaw Indians.That said, there are sightings all the time- hell, there are videos of the ghosts trying to scalp your employees during work!

Beauregard Hogwash!

Sammy Y’know, I’ve seen it with my own eyes, I think. Ben pulled up one of the YouTube videos a while back and- I’m usually skeptical but I saw—

Beauregard Graphics and special effects or what-have-you! I’ll have the two of you know I did not come on this show to be mocked. One more retort from you valley-dwellers and I’ll have you expelled from the city limits. Mayor Grisham is a close ally, so tread trepidously.[sic]

Ben Bring it.

Sammy Whoa whoa whoa! everybody, let’s just relax. This is a conversation, Mr. Beauregard. Ben here is our station’s foremost expert on King Falls history, sir. It just seems like maybe the facts and your book’s stories aren’t exactly jiving.

Beauregard Let me be quite clear, this is my last warning. If you speak ill of myself or my family one more time, I will crush you. Your livelihoods depend on this fact.

Sammy Come on.

Ben [sarcastically] Oh I’d never speak badly about your family. They had the good sense to die before you turned into this joke, bringing down their hard earned reputations.

Beauregard Fire this insolent manchild at once. He’s nothing more than Channel 13 leftovers.

Ben I… B-but I—

Beauregard Aww. Did I touch a nerve Benny? Dispute this fact to all five of your listeners. Channel 13- a respectable organization- rejected you not one, not two, but three separate occasions. You working class cretin.

Sammy [awkwardly] I think maybe we should wrap this up.

Ben No wait. Sammy, I’m gonna use a lifeline. Phone a friend?[1] and ruin this douche.

[phone ringing]

Emily [sleepily] Hello?

Ben Hi! Emily.

Emily [suddenly more awake] Ben? Everything okay? It’s pretty late.

Ben It’s- it’s okay now that you’re on the phone. *shy, awkward laugh* You’re live by the way.

Emily *giggles* Ben! Hi Sammy! Hi King Falls.

Ben The lovely and knowledgeable King Falls Librarian, Emily Potter, everyone.

Beauregard The library? They can’t even keep my memoir in stock. What do you think about that?

Sammy [quietly] I don’t think that’s how e-books work.

Ben Hey! Miss Potter is trying to speak, Beauregard? Emily, can you… shed some light on a certain topic for everyone out there listening? All five of them.

Emily Yes. Anything for you and Sammy.

Ben We have… Howard Beauregard on the phone.

Emily Funny enough, I just finished your book, Mr. Beauregard. “King of King Falls”?

Beauregard Alas, finally someone with good sense and better taste.

Ben I’m glad you brought that up, Emily! Can you fill the listeners in on the history of the King Falls Library- which, Mr. Beauregard discusses in chapter 15 of his e-book. Did you- find any… discrepancies?

Emily Sure, Ben. Well, Mr. Beauregard mentioned the library a few times in various stories. However, he stated that during World War Two? the secret apartment was built inside the library. However, it actually—

Beauregard Ahhh! The Hitler Suite! Yes, it was commissioned by Germany, October 7th, 1944 as a possible hiding place for their infamous leader, Theodore Waldorf von Hitler.

Sammy Adolf?

Beauregard Gesundheit.

Emily I’m sorry but the apartment was actually built when the library was, in 1912. I’ve seen the blueprints and everything. Funny story, it was actually used as—

Ben Y’know, Emily, maybe we should hear him out on this one. I can see a connection forming here.

Emily *giggles* Oh Ben, you’re so funny.

Beauregard Miss Potter.

Emily Yes, Mr. Beauregard?

Beauregard You are a simpleton of the highest order, and should not be tasked to watch over a magazine, much less a palace of learning such as the King Falls Library.

Ben You son of a b[bleep]!

Sammy Ben! It’s not worth it, calm down, he’s just an old nutcase!

Beauregard Of course the two of you are thick as thieves. I should have known I was in for an ambush in this rrramshackle radio station. You two lowlifes should be honored by my presence!

Sammy Beauregard, please take yourself and go honor the dust in your mansion. We’re done here.

Beauregard How dare you. Turn this radio broadcast off this instant! I demand it. I will not be treated like this!

Ben Go.

Sammy [aggressively] If you don’t leave, Mr. Beauregard, we’re gonna be forced to call the sheriff’s department

Beauregard Well there’s no need to wake my personal friend, Sheriff Gunderson, from his slumber. He’d only throw the book at you rapscallions anyway.

Ben Your e-book isn’t worth the paper it’s not printed on.

Beauregard [sound of a chair being shoved back] [voice getting quieter as he storms off] You merry fools! I can buy this radio station! Just to fire you! Mark my words!

Sammy We’ll be waiting on those pink slips! but until then, get out of our studio, please and thank you. Well then.

Ben I hate to say “I told you so” but…

Sammy I’m sorry Ben, *sad sigh* [increasingly mumbled] y’know I was just trying to understand this stuff a little bit better.

Ben [sincerely] I appreciate that.

Sammy Folks, we’re just going to take a quick break here to get back on track but let—

Emily [softly] Hey, Ben?

Ben Hello?

Sammy Oh! Line one is still engaged.

Emily Thank you for sticking up for me, Ben.

Ben Ah! I mean, any time! I mean you, uh, you're- you’re… welcome?

Sammy Ladies and gents, Ben has just invented a new shade of red from all this blushing. You know what? tweet me @KingFallsAM right now and I’m gonna post a pic.

Ben [hissed] Shut up, Sammy.

Emily Hey, Ben?

Ben Yeah? I’m here.

Emily I was just wondering… Well, I’ve- I’ve been wondering, um, maybe, uh- And you can- say no! if you want. But, would you, possibly, like to- go out? uh, maybe to Rose’s Diner this weekend?

Ben [voice cracking slightly] Yes. I mean… Sure- maybe- we could do, something, like that! I’ll- I’ll, I mean I do. I need to… *clears throat* check my schedule. But um—

Emily Okay then! I’ll- talk to you later! Goodnight, Ben.

[click, dial tone]

Sammy Well I think—

Ben Don’t. [whispering] Let me savor this.

Sammy *chuckles* We’ll be right back after a word from our sponsors, kids.

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] Phone a friend- probably well known, but this is a reference to the show “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire”

[f-nodragonart]

t Shy anon with the designs! Thanks, I’ll keep this anonymus cause it could help others out too. I’ll post the original first and then the mutated versions I have finished. Excuse the poor quality please, my phone camera is bad. If they’re hard to see I can try outlining them.

So this is the original, the night wyvern. They aren’t considered true wyverns (two wings two hind legs) but were mistaken for one and the name just stuck. I might make the wings a bit larger to accomadate the rest of it but not too much. They have hallow bones but those bones are extremely strong due to being reinforced by the substance that makes magic possible in this world. I’ll add the full affects, pros and cons at the bottom though.

Never got a pic of the full final doodle but I’m only missing the limbs on the other side. This is a mutated version of the night wyvern called the shadow wyvern. Their wings are replaced by arms which they can use to help them climb, grab prey, or swing and hang off of things. The spines along their bodies have a stretchy webbing between them that helps them pick up on feint sounds through vibration or smells.

I had more photos but the quality is so poor on them that i can barely see the drawing so I’m gonna leave you with these.

Anyway, the premise of this world is basically that it’s overflowing with magic and everything in the world is affected by it to some degree. The thing that makes magic possible is called “essence” and it has many side effects whennit mutates creatures.

Pros: Magic, enhanced strength and reinforced bone structures, better adaptability (supposedly increased intelligence but that ones just a theory).

Cons: Mutations, risk of corruption(permanently altered genetic structures for further generations. Corruption only happens to mutated creatures who’s biological structure is already changed), higher risk of being infected by the Err (a brutal Essence that attaches itself to other things with magic. In short it turns living things into something like a mix between a zombie and a rabid animal, pushing it to find and consume new sources of magic to keep the Err “fed”. Eventually the creature will die, only for the Err to mutate its body and revive it.)

Not sure if I listed all of them, I don’t have my papers in front of me right now and its a mess so I don’t know where to start looking.

so I just did a flat side-view instead of the slightly angled perspective of the body u originally drew, b/c it was a little easier for me to get a handle on the body structure, hope that’s alright

I also referenced raptors for most of the body structure, with T. rex influence to bulk it up a bit more to match ur original design. I also wasn’t 100% sure what hip structure u were goin for, so I just went for ornisthischian b/c it leaves room for a keel and lends more directly to flight. I also drew the pubis a bit deeper to give more mass/weight to the hips (making the torso more bottom-heavy) and help balance out the body. the base of the tail looked a little thin on the original, esp on the topside, so I gave it a lil’ more mass and a smoother transition into the hips

the shoulder area of the front limbs looked a bit shrink-wrapped, so I smoothed that out a bit. in a structure like this, the round of the shoulder prolly isn’t going to be so visible, but rather hidden under muscle and flesh, as I drew

I wasn’t totally sure what was goin on w/ the throat in front of the front limbs? it might just be that the chest stuck out a bit too far? the chest certainly sticks out a bit on raptors, but not quite so far in front of the shoulders as u had

the wing shoulder needs a lot more mass, and it needs to be shifted farther back behind the front limbs so that both sets of limbs have room to move independently. a keel is also necessary to provide a strong, stable base to the thick muscles of the wing shoulders. I didn’t redraw this so it wouldn’t block the view of the body, but the wing fingers are a bit straight/stiff. look into bat wings and see how the knobby knuckles and curvature of the bones give the fingers much more interesting shapes and flow~

now the legs were kinda interesting. what u originally had were what looked like semi-digitigrade legs much like an elephant, w/ very short foot sections. this would be fine for a more vertically-oriented biped like a humanoid, but these kinda legs aren’t very conducive to the horizontal torso arrangement of a raptor. so I lengthened the foot section (but not too much-- the foot section shouldn’t be longer than either the upper or lower leg)

this isn’t very apparent in my flat side-view, but I also pointed the legs straight forward instead of splayed out as u had them originally. not a lot of animals besides squat creatures like crocs and lizards have splayed legs. prehistoric raptors in particular didn’t have very much range of motion in that direction-- their legs were built to mostly stride forward and back for a strong sprint, as far as I’ve been told. that doesn’t necessarily mean ur dragon can’t have a wider range of motion, but a splayed stance prolly isn’t gonna be their comfortable resting position

for the face, I p much just referenced a T. rex, but I’m not totally sure if that’s the look u were goin for, in which case I can redo the redline. also I think u were goin for a decorative stick-out chin? but it was a little inconsistent, so I wasn’t sure. either way, I slapped a chin on there too haha

in general I’d recommend studying skulls some more and familiarizing urself w/ their shapes and basic structures. in particular, take note of the curves of the upper and lower jaws, and how they interlock when closed. also note how the bottom jaw shouldn’t change curvature when it opens. in ur original, there seemed to be too many teeth pressed too close together for the jaws to actually close, so I roughly drew out the tooth arrangement of a T. rex skull. unless ur dragon has multiple rows of teeth, in which case ur dragon prolly wouldn’t have room for much of a tongue

I also shifted the eyes a bit lower in the cranium b/c they looked a bit too close to the top of the skull

now I don’t want to comment on the mutated forms too much b/c I think my commentary above p much covers them. I will say that some of their mutations are rly interesting! their sensory spines look like fungal growth of some sort, like a parasite-- I rly like it!

anyways, hope this helps!

-Mod Spiral

[blubberquark]

Pokemon Yellow: Let’s Go

Overview

I got my sister the new Pokemon game for Christmas - except it isn’t new. It is more like a high-definition remastered re-release of Pokemon Yellow, with some mechanics lifted from Pokemon Go to make it fresh, more accessible, and to have something that makes use of the console’s motion controls.

If you played Pokemon Red or Blue on the original Game Boy, you might be in for a surprise because now you can clearly see what the pixel art on that old 160x144 screen was meant to represent. If you haven’t played the original Pokemon games, you might not even know what you’re missing, or what was improved. It’s probably the most accessible - or most forgiving - game of the series yet, not counting spin-off games like Pokemon Go, Pokemon Snap, Mystery Dungeon, or Detective Pikachu.

If you played a Pokemon game before, Let’s Go is probably not reason enough to buy a Nintendo Switch - but Mario Kart 8 totally is, unless you already have a Mario Kart game on your GameCube, 3DS, Wii, or Wii U.

My sister is happy with the new Pokemon game anyway, because the battery in her old Pokemon Yellow cartridge died back in 2004.

Game Design

All the small changes made in Pokemon Let’s Go compared to the gameplay of Pokemon Yellow are connected, and they add up to a significant reduction in depth and difficulty:

You can see wild Pokemon roam the tall grass

There are no random encounters or fights against wild Pokemon

Catching wild Pokemon works like it does in Pokemon Go

You can swap out Pokemon between storage and your party at any time outside of battle

Techniques like “cut” or “surf“ do not take up the slot of an attack

XP are shared between Pokemon in your party

All of these changes make it more like Pokemon Go:

You see Pokemon on the street and can to choose whether to catch them

You don’t fight wild Pokemon

There is no fixed “party“, you can choose Pokemon for each battle

The most obvious change in the dynamics of Let’s Go compared to Yellow is that battles against wild Pokemon are no longer threatening or dangerous: You can avoid them, they don’t damage your party, and if a Pokemon in your party is damaged, you can just swap it out with a healthy one from storage.

You don’t need to grind dozens of common Pokemon to encounter a rare one. You don’t need to carry around a water Pokemon in case you need to use “surf”.

Let’s compare Pokemon Let’s Go to other JRPG games:

In almost every JRPG game ever your player character and party members each have their own skills, HP, mana, experience and equipment slots, but shared inventory. Fights are turn-based many-vs-many, where your starting line-up consists of three or fours out of however many people you currently have. Some attacks, buffs or heals are area-of-effect and affect all fighters on one side. You need some area-of-effect skills to deal with crowds, and some heavy-hitting attacks to take down bosses. Healing during combat takes up one turn for one fighter, healing outside of combat is cheap. There is some amount of strategy in coordinating the attacks, skills, buffs and heals of your party members. When your player character dies in combat, it’s game over and you respawn or have to reload. Other party members can be revived. Expect to grind a lot to level all your party members, until they leave the party for plot reasons.

Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow has random encounters in tall grass and dungeons, limited PP (power points) for moves, and fights against wild Pokemon to catch them or gain XP. Your player character does not have HP or gain XP, only your Pokemon do. When all your Pokemon are beaten, you “die“ and re-spawn at the last Pokemon Centre you visited. Every fight is one-on-one, and you can swap out Pokemon when one gets defeated, or when it runs out of PP. Since PP are not per-Pokemon, but counting down for each skill, e.g. ”15 splashes left on this Magikarp”, they are very predictable, and make it clear when you should save your stronger attacks for stronger enemies. Healing in a Pokemon Centre fully restores both HP and PP.

To advance, in addition to story events and puzzle-solving, you need a party of Pokemon that can get you through a dungeon area without dying, and that means ending battles quickly, efficiently, and without much HP loss. Before you set out into an unknown area or a dungeon, you need to select the right Pokemon for your party. One of them is probably your starter, because you always have it and it’s overlevelled, but your starter’s PP are precious. You need one or two Pokemon of the type that hard-counters the Pokemon in this area, and maybe you have to catch and/or train them first.

The levelling systems of Persona 5 are too complicated to describe in depth here. There is the “real world“ where you go to school or hang out with friends, and the collective unconscious/”Metaverse” where you fight with your “Personas”, which are like Pokemon based on the Archetypes of Jungian psychology and mythology, except the Shin Megami Tensei series is actually older than Pokemon and did it first.

In the real world, you explore the city after school, spend money in shops, run errands, and hang out with friends. You can level up your “soft skills” to get better at hanging out with friends. Hanging out with friends advances side plots and side quests, and levels up your “social links” with friends, granting them skills in the Metaverse.

In the metaverse, you fight other personas with your own. You gain XP to level up your character, collect money from battles that you can spend in the real world, catch new personas, and level up personas. Unlike Pokemon, Personas are not independent beings, but aspects of our collective unconscious or some other psychobabble, so they don’t have their own HP and mana (or “SP”, skill points) values. Party members gain the strengths and weaknesses of their personas, and take hits to their own HP. Your player character can have dozens of personas, but having more personas is not a health advantage. Because SP/mana are also tied to your player character, more personas are also not helping you with mana. You are only ever as strong as your one best persona. Some persona skills use more mana than others, and mana is hard to come by. While there are loads and loads of healing spells to replenish HP for you and your party, once your party runs out of mana and mana-replenishing items, your dungeon run is essentially over. Fortunately, Persona 5 has no random encounters, and you can often sneak past enemies to save your resources for boss fights.

The battle system is many-on-many, similar to most JRPGs. Limited SP in Persona 5 essentially take the role of per-skill limited PP in Pokemon. The resource scarcity of Persona 5 is exacerbated by the real-world/Metaverse system: You can’t buy healing items is a Metaverse dungeon, only in the real world, but you can get real money from fights in the Metaverse. Entering the metaverse is in itself taking up a valuable resource: time. You and your friends could have spent the afternoon doing sports, finishing your homework for school, or going for a walk in the park. Every time enter the Metaverse, it’s an afternoon down the drain, an afternoon that you could have spent trying to hook up with an older woman. Every time you leave a dungeon you cut your losses.

Compared to Persona 5, Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow was not nearly as punishing. You can usually just leave an area and go back to the last Pokemon Centre, you can grind random encounters in the tall grass for a bit without losing out on anything (Except hours of your own time in real life that you could spend doing sports or seducing older women, if that’s your thing. Maybe Persona 5 was trying to tell me something.)

If can see that you will you run out of HP or PP before you finish the dungeon, you can just turn around while your Pokemon are still somewhat healthy, and make a beeline for the Pokemon Centre.

This part was longer than I expected: Back to Pokemon Let’s Go.

They could have made a game without motion controls where battling wild Pokemon works the same as it did before, but you can see them and there are no random encounters. That would have made it possible to sneak past wild Pokemon, which would have made dungeons much easier, or at least more predictable.

Imagine the opposite: There are random encounters, but the random encounters have you catch Pokemon with motion controls like in Pokemon Go. That would be annoying, and it wouldn’t add much to the game. In the worst case, you run out of Pokeballs and just flee every random encounter. It’s not difficult or interesting. It’s just annoying now.

Once you decide on adopting the catching mechanics from Pokemon Go, you are locked in into a bunch of design changes that turn trainer battles into the only source of real danger and interesting decisions in the whole game. Now, as long as you win a trainer battle by a slight margin, you can just walk to Pokemon Centre and heal back up. If you run into a big wild Pokemon, it won’t hurt you. At this point, letting players swap out Pokemon remotely becomes a sensible design decision: Walking back to heal your Pokemon would just become another annoyance as a result of perverse optimisation. (I know you can fly back to a city in Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow with a bird Pokemon, but then you might have to walk back into the wilderness through tall grass again to get back to where you were.)

You can still grind by catching wild Pokemon, it works similarly to Pokemon Go.

TL;DR for game designers: Adopting motion controls had a huge impact on the game design of Pokemon Let’s Go, spanning the levels of mechanics, dynamics, and aesthetics.

TL;DR for players: If this is your first JRPG or Pokemon game, give it a try! Otherwise meh...

[killscreencinema]

Xenoblade Chronicles X (Wii U)

Xenoblade Chronicles X, released by Monolith Soft “X”-clusively for the Wii U in 2015, takes place on an alien planet named Mira, where the last remnants of humanity have crash landed after Earth was decimated by a mysterious alien force known as the Ganglion.  The human survivors live on in the form of “mimeosomes”, which are enhanced cyberorganic duplicates, which are being controlled remotely by their real bodies while in stasis in a massive vault known as the Lifehold.

You play as a freshly revived from stasis new recruit in an organization known as BLADE, whose mission statement, besides gathering resources and fending off hostile creatures for the residents of the fledgling city of New Los Angeles, is to find the Lifehold, which was lost during the crash landing, before it runs out of power, killing the rest of humankind in the process.  The only problems is that BLADE is in a race to find the Lifehold against their old pals, the Ganglion, who are committed to finishing the extermination they started.

I normally don’t go into so much detail about a video game story, but goddamn if this one didn’t capture my imagination like no other video game in awhile, especially a J-RPG, with all of their tired tropes.  In fact, while I greatly enjoyed the first game, Xenoblade Chronicles, I found the story to be disappointingly banal, especially from a studio like Monolith, who are known for complex plots since the days of ye olde PlayStation with Xenogears (when the creative team was working under Squaresoft).  I love the idea of humans rebuilding civilization, with their main hub of New Los Angeles having the familiar California architecture juxtaposed against a strange, alien landscape.  I love the idea of these people being trapped in cyber-organic bodies, which if killed, would merely trap their consciousness back in their real bodies in stasis.  What a mind trip it would be for someone close to you to die, but if you’re able to find where their real body is tucked away, you might have a chance to bring them back for realsies!  To the game’s credit, it deeply explores both the negative and positive psychological implications of such an existence, albeit in a melodramatic fashion one comes to expect from most anime (which J-RPGs are basically offshoots of).  The characters are all well-rounded, with Elma, your commanding officer and all around badass bitch, being my favorite.  I even love what Elma says whenever she levels up:

“Strength comes from experience.  That’s true on any planet.”

Meanwhile, whenever my character leveled up she’d exclaim “MY GROWTH SPURT!!!”  Which is... weird.  I guess it’s better than your 13-year-old teammate, Lin, yelling that. 

You’re well-advised to spend most of your time with Elma and Lin, getting them nice and strong.  You can also choose fourth party member from a variety of characters you meet along the way.  The longer you spend time with your team completing missions, the more your affinity grows with them.  One you reach a certain affinity level, it opens a personal side-quest with each respective character, which are worth doing not only to further dive into the story, but for the “fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory”, as Indiana Jones would say.

While I can’t say enough things about the story, the gameplay is just as solid and immersive.  It plays basically just like its spiritual predecessor, for it should be noted at this point that gameplay is the only thing is has in common with the first game as it does not continue the story.  It’s almost like how Mega Man X *kinda* continues the story of the original Mega Man series, but with a darker, more sci-fi tone.  Xenoblade Chronicles 1 and 2 are pure fantasy (with a lil bit of sci-fi), while Xenoblade Chronicles X is sci-fi fantasy all the way.  It’s pretty much the J-RPG version of Mass Effect, but without all the sex.

The battle system is in real-time, with your various special moves set up in slots.  You can unleash them at will, or wait for your comrades to request a specific move, which is optimal as it is one of very few ways to heal your party.  Plus, those special attacks have to recharge, so you don’t want to be stuck with no specials while your party’s HP is in the red, and one of them is begging for a heal.  Aw~kward!  I do like how streamlined it feels as opposed to the kind of turn-based fighting I’m used to in J-RPGs, although it’s always stressful not being able to control the three other party members beyond issuing generic squad orders like “Concentrate your fire” or “assemble with me” or “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE” before running from danger like King Arthur and his knights running from that bunny in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

You’ll be using that order a lot by the way as, similarly to the first game, low level enemies cohabit alongside extremely high level enemies all over the world maps.  While most of the time the super strong monsters will ignore your existence, unless you pick a fight or bump into them, others might not have such a chill disposition and will prefer to trample you instead.  Running into an area populated by high-level enemies can feel a lot like when you accidentally wander into a dangerous neighborhood.  There’s nothing like looking for a rare item in a cave only to realize it’s full of enemies twice your level, so you carefully back away like the Homer Simpson meme:

You might think I’m complaining, but I actually really enjoyed this in both games, as it really makes it feel like a truly open world and having to tread softly or risk sudden annihilation from a level 80 tyrant you didn’t know was there makes it feel more like an adventure.  That being said... it can also be incredibly infuriating when you’re flying around in your mech suit, which are called “Skells” in this game, and you innocently bump into a powerful bad guy only for him to promptly blow up your Skells, leaving you with a salvage cost in the MILLIONS.  Yep, that’s when you normally “save scum” by loading up a previous save, but damned if they didn’t make it a pain in the ass what with the obscene loading times and all the fucking menu screens you have to press A through.  While it’s true that players who are savvy about planting mining beacons in the most optimal way to earn money will have more credits than they know how to spend, you will trash your Skells a lot, and that shit adds up, especially when you’re trying to save for more powerful Skells or expensive equipment.

By the way, I don’t want to understate how fucking cool it is that you get a giant mech robot to ride in halfway through the game.  I was already onboard with Xenoblade Chronicle X before that happened, so adding a giant mech robot to the mix is like discovering for the first time how freaking delicious Fritos are in chili.  Like... I love chili, but I had not idea it could be improved THIS much with Fritos!  And just as the initial buzz of getting a Skell starts to wear off, YOU GET A FLIGHT MODULE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO FLY ALL OVER THE MAP WITH IMPUNITY!  Hey, you like chili and Fritos?  Howz about a blow job too?  I mean, you’ll have to listen to an irritatingly catchy J-pop song while you’re getting the blow job, but still awesome!

 Which finally brings us to the music.  Holy shit.  The music is composed by Hiroyuki Sawano, who did the music for the anime series Attack on Titan.  There are lots of great tracks for the game... well except for both the day and night themes for NLA, which will get stuck in your head so much you’ll scream into your pillow while trying to sleep at night (meanwhile in your brain you keep hearing, “Uh, yeah, uh, yeah, oh oh oh”).  Even the worst track is forgivable if only because the main theme to game, innocously titled “Theme X”, is one of the most goddamn beautiful pieces of music I’ve heard in a game in years.  Listen and let the goosebumps wash over you:

It’s obvious I love the game, but there are negatives too.  For one, I didn’t finish the game, because HOLY HELL are the final bosses difficult.  Firstly, any hope that you have of beating them is with your Skells, so should they get wrecked somewhere along the way, there’s no way to bring them back, so you’re SOLAMWF (or “Shit out luck and mighty well fucked” as George Carlin coined).  If you saved before the fight, your heard was in the right place, but guess what?  You’re fucking trapped.  You can’t leave to buy a stronger Skell or level grind.  It’s a goddamn dead end, emphasis on the word “dead”.  Fortunately, being a seasoned RPG player, when Elma asked me not only once, but TWICE, if I was ABSOLUTELY sure I’m ready to enter the Lifehold, I got the subtext and didn’t save once inside.  However, stupidly, I did save after accepting the final mission, which effectively locks out the affinity missions, which can be much less redundant way to level grind than doing the “Basic Missions” (which consists of tasks like fetch quests and monster bounties).  I tried like hell to grind to level 50 and save up enough credits to buy a level 50 Skell (which were the minimum recommendations for evening the odds against the boss), but I still couldn’t beat him. 

So out of frustration and boredom, I rage quit the game and moved on to something that will hopefully be a lot less strenuous... Bloodborne (wah-waaaaaah).  I like Xenoblade enough that I’ll return to it and continue grinding away until I eventually beat it.

So yeah... Xenoblade Chronicles X is pretty fucking great. I would cautiously nominate it as the best RPG you’ll play on the Wii U (below Breath of the Wild of course). 

[tensetactics]

Guys. Here it is.

I spent like a while writing this. and I would like to hear thought about it before I upload it to AO3. I think I’ve got a name for it but feel free to suggest one if you’d like. Its going to eventually be a Handsome Jack / Rhys work but this chapter is Jack-centric (like the rest of his world lol)

Summary:

The final fight for Jack and the vault hunters had not ended the way he had planned. Not in the slightest. Luckily for him, his company was in charge of one of the greatest innovations of the past millennia; the “New-U” station. Jack revives but he figures, his enemies didn’t have to know that… Time goes by and Jack is running the company under the guise of a boring seemingly nameless man, and it works to keep his secret safe. Jack has not a care or rather concern in the world, until a few of his underlings go AWOL with 10 million dollars for a... vault? Revenge? Obsession? Chicks? All that Jack is now worried about is if this mission is going to compromise his position at the top.

Things to note: Foul Language, Proper use of drugs, Face Trauma, and Blood are all included in this. Also this is the first Fan Fiction I’ve ever written so constructive criticism is appreciated.

Handsome Jack arrived in his office after his last fight with the Lilith and that sad excuse for a “Vault Hunter” through means not predicted by him; The god dammed New-U station. At least he knew for certain he wasn’t dead. He knew because 1) Heaven wasn’t supposed to hurt 2)Hell didn’t look like his office 3) Heroes don’t die. He figured it a the New-U station because of the blinding light of what could only be a digistruct followed shortly by searing pain sprouting across his new face. Helios almighty, did he hated these things.

Sure he got to beat death and all, but the price he paid to do so was high to say the least. He received the rights for the tech from Dahl in the massive reparations for the invasion and “Zarpederps” stupidity. But it felt like a backhanded way to pay him back. Like, when would he personally use such a thing? Why would he have to? Dying wasn’t often on his daily agenda, unless it was for others (and they were meant to stay dead).  Plus if he did use it the side-effects were an unpleasant reminder of Betrayal. However he did see value in the tech and kept it. The value being it would be much more fun to see bandits killing themselves over and over again, rather than just once.

Finally taking a deep breath while the burning across his face turned into a throbbing ache, Jack started his way down the hallway he arrived in. Jack was glad the last New-U station he had seen before that little debacle on Pandora was the one in the hallway just outside of his office. The hallway was barren. Not a soul but Jack himself, if you could even count what was left of his. Jack was somewhat thankful that there was no one around to see his biggest embarrassments; his defeat and his broken face. But at least he was alive and safe no less. Going from the crater of a goddamn volcano to the space station was like travelling from hell to the land of the living. Which made his office like heaven to him. He loved his office. the design was sleek, subtly elegant, and most importantly Handsome Jack Functional; With a library that also served as a place to airlock those conspiring against him, statues to remind him of his glory, a treasure trove with memorabilia of his conquerors, and best of all his desk fitted with a comfortable throne to rule from right in front of the huge window with the best view of the shitty moon he saved. One could say that this room was the like a reflection of Handsome Jack himself. One could also say that it was ridiculous amount of space for an office.

Stumbling across the room half blind, and bleeding a modest amount was not the way he wanted to enjoy his office however.

“Agh where the fuck is it?” Jack was going through his desk drawer for his emergency stim-pack and mask. He wanted the pain to stop and lower the chances of one of his employees spotting him because, hell who knows they could actually be competent for once!

A relieved sigh falls from Jack's mouth when he finds what he’s looking for. An even more relaxed breath leaves him after he jams the stim-packs needle into his arm. At least now the bleeding stopped but that same damned mark remained. See that was why he hated having to re-spawn not only was it shameful that he had been taken down by someone probably lesser than him, but he also had to re-live the placement of the vault crest on his face, well almost the visions that originally accompany it only show up in his dreams now and then but the incredible branding of his face was not that needed the unpleasantness of those visions to make it agony. Then scar it left in the aftermath was none too pretty either.

That was was why he decided on the mask. It's not dehumanizing like others, and was still technically his face, but gave Jack an air of mystery to him that his “original” face couldn’t. Handsome Jack had caught wind of many rumors flattering and insulting on the Galactic web, several of which were influenced by some of his underlings and their wild imagination.

“Attention Hyperion employees,” the cheerful and sometimes seemingly smug voice of Hyperion came in through Jack's office intercom. Huh he thought that he had it disconnected to any of the common broadcasts systems in the station but apparently he missed one…

“...this is an urgent emergency broadcast...”  No, not missed it would seem, but kept because it was actually frick’in useful.

“...Handsome Jack, has been murdered...”

“No shit cupcake”, Jack said to no one in particular.

“All Hyperion forces are to return and remain on station or risk death. Thank you.”

Jack gave the room a puzzled look. Did they think he was like, dead-dead? How stupid were they?

“That's it, when I get down there those little insignificant peons are going to get packed full of so much lead that i could paint a house with’em!” He was Just about to stop his way down the hall when the doors opened up to reveal a single figure, he seemed slight in manner as he slinked down the hallway, slowly making his way down Jack's Office. Often looking at the elevator as he his behind the inlets of the windows in the corridor, that is until he hit the last, windowless part of the entryway where he just flat out ran into Jack's office, looking back the whole time.

Jack stood in the library, observing the skittish man until he was made note of. He skirted around the other side of the room, apparently looking for something. The man himself, was actually quite dumpy looking. Not in the way he dressed but in his face and posture; he looked a like a not-so-hot-mess. And Jack was pretty sure from where he was standing he smelled a little bit too.

Tired of waiting Jack cleared his throat. No response. Hard of hearing too it appeared. “AHEM..” The other man spun around so fast that he lost his balance and landed on his ass. Handsome Jack snorted, now that's the reaction he was expecting.

“Mind telling me what you’re doing in my office sweetheart?” Jack now leaning on one of his statues but a safe distance away. The man seemed calmed by the physical distance he kept unaware the true reason why was due to his bodies pungent aroma.

“ I… Uh..”

“Tick-tock munchkin we haven’t got all day.” the man wasn’t actually short he actually appeared to be about Jack’s height. but compressed himself to be smaller.

“I wanted to find your mask” If looks killed (and often with Jack they did) that man would’ve be a corpse at that moment

“I’msorrysir-Its just… I’ve never been much of looker, and I figured that if I could sell it on the black market or something I could get enough money to I don’t know, buy a new face? A boyfriend? Or I don’t know fix this mess of a face I have.” Jack Squinted at the kid.

“And your first thought after hearing I was dead was to run up here and essentially grave rob my office?” Jack was seething now, clawing for his pistol.

“Nononono, I was sent here by the board to collect any recent projects still in here… and I didn’t mean to disrespect you I just figured it was the most valuable thing in the office I could get and considering this will be the only time I’ll ever be up here…” The kid was on the verge of tears, and it was hilarious.

The CEO considered him for a minute or two, starting at the stinking man, and then an idea came to him.

“Alright Sir-sweats-a-lot, I’ll bite. Buut, you can’t have my mask. I’ve got something better and the result will be much safer than a black market deal. What's your name anyway kiddo?”

“Mark Clemens, sir.”

“So clementine, I have a proposition for you; how about I send you on a little vacation, you get a little plastic surgery, invest in some deodorant, possibly change your name, you know the whole nine in the company vacation package, of course this all being under the pretense that you forget what you’ve seen here and take on a new name, and hell as a cherry on top,  I promise not to kill you! Hows that?” Mark nodded, he couldn’t see any downside with this deal for him, all of it seemed reasonable. Well as reasonable as a deal with Handsome Jack can get, sure there was that little bit of hurtful jab with the deodorant but it wasn’t nearly as lethal as Handsome Jack’s brand oh humor..

“Oh and you can’t comeback. For like, ever. Or at least until I get bored of being y-.. um er.. generous. ” Mark continued to nod but slower.

“C-can I take my cats with me?”

“What?!”

“Can I take my cats with me, sir?”

“Suuure take all the cats in the station if you’d like but first, let's get you scanned into a New-U station.”

Jack assumes that if the board members have noticed the slight differences he’s made to Mark’s personality that they are too pleased by the lack of horrible body odor to care. The past week was kinda fun for him, observing the entire station, in mourning over their great leader, well almost all of the station… The voice of Hyperion was as chipper as ever, but Jack was thankful he didn’t have to listen to another person sobbing, especially over the intercom...  Yes life was becoming a new sort of normal for Jack, but he was not happy with his position on the station. He wanted to be the covert dead CEO hiding as new CEO. Not the covert dead CEO running around like someone's errand boy. So the most logical thing he could think of to get back on top was to take part in the time honored tradition of Hyperion brand of blackmail, backstabbing, and murder to get what he wanted.

And that was how Mark Clemens became the “new” Chief Executive Officer. However, Jack wasn’t just doing this for shits and giggles. No. He had a strategy behind all of this. With this new identity, He could see how his closest allies were treating his death, and watch his nemeses lower their defences.  He still missed some of the aspects of his life before “death” so to speak but he kept his nose to the grind; managing the company and plotting death to his enemies. All was going according to plan... Until Jack caught wind of a Vault Key and his employes subsequently somehow got robbed blind and lost 10 million dollars.